Mon Cher, Ma Chère,
What a pleasure to share with you this new article.
I have talked about it in my first podcast as an avant-gout of VOICES by DAY ROSE. To listen to English podcast HERE et pour le podcast en français c’est ICI.
It seemed, however, so very important to me to write a few words about this PLAN A ONLY theory.
Among the best way to never get what you want, you can find the 4 different options:
-not doing anything at all
-starting something but giving up before you get it
-destroying what you got or were about to get
-and working hard on getting your plan B, C, D but never the A!
I guess you understood that the last option is the one we will discuss about here.
It is actually more difficult to perceive and understand. Because when you are in this scenario, you are doing a lot and achieving a lot… and you always feel that soon it will be the time to get to your dream, except the time never comes.
A lot of happy achievers are actually doing this exact thing over and over again. And I used to be one of them. How can this happen? Why is it as bad as the other options? How do you get to achieve your dreams by choosing plan A only?
1.How does this happen?
I am going to share with you my personal experience:
I have learnt the hard way I was the main responsible in not achieving my dreams.
Each time, I wanted something, I was first thing of an easy and best way to get it. And this is what I like to call the Plan A. It is the road map that you think of first to get from where you are to exactly where you want to be.
What happens is that fears and lack of confidence can drive you to think you may not and will not succeed in this venture. If you are still trying to do things, we will then draft a plan B to be sure to at least get something, something super good, maybe even amazing but not what you really want… or just not yet.
This plan B may be the longer road to achieve what you want. Or maybe a parallel world that will give you something close to your dreams but that is just not it.
This plan B and this deviation might be just a detour to be sure you get what you want or a reasonable way to get yourself what you think of a safety net…
I am sure reading this a lot of you will connect with this. How do you know? If you can relate by remembering a few stories or if you suddenly feel a bit uncomfortable, trust me, it resonates.
And I want to tell you it is okay and actually a great news because you are opening your eyes and you can now take actions! Be kind to yourself.
Example of plan B:
You are an artist and you decide to follow a career in marketing to do product development because you believe this will give you more credit or the safety net to then devote time to your art…
Trust me I know it all, I used to be the queen of Plan B.
2.Why you should not choose Plan B over Plan A? (I know it seems obvious but trust me it is not!)
We often learn to choose plan B’s over plan A when we are young. Parents, people at schools, role models will advise you a more proper choice in their opinion or in the eyes of society. This either made you feel shameful of your dreams – as even in today society are attached an infantile and irrealistic notions to dreams – or this destroyed the fragile self-esteem you had. Why would you trust your gut if people are saying you will never get it or you should get it after doing this and that and securing your future, and growing up and… maybe in another life if you still want it!
That is usually one way you grow as a plan B pro. You always think you cannot achieve that but as a fighter you go for the second prize or the first prize in another more realistic or more accepted field.
It sounds sad… maybe but you should never regret taking these roads because they were part of your journey until you get to this new chapter of plan A Only!
I discovered that simply discussing with my friend Geraldine. She was complaining about the risk she took applying to only one master degree, the only one she wanted. And I found myself advising her to plan options B, C, D. She said it is not stupid at least I would not have ended up with nothing. But actually, she did not and she never did! When you want something and you don’t have it, life grants you something better along the way but at least you tried and you went all the way in with this one thing first! It takes courage, it takes visualization and trust in life and yourself.
Just to precise, I really thought at that time, I was doing the right thing when telling her that. But when we left each other, something in me was not feeling right. I did a little 20 minutes meditation and I had to take my notebook and write all the things popping in my head. A ahah moment as you would call it…
I understood finally one of the pattern I was mastering in getting many many things achieved while not managing to really get what I wanted. I also understood how I was exhausting myself with all those detours, drafting plan B and C. They were always the ones I was materializing because they were the ones I was paying so much attention to. I was always planning my “in case of emergency” plan.
3.How do you build the PLAN A only system?
To all the reasonable yet free dreaming souls, stop being reasonable. When we are, it means we don’t trust life nor ourselves to really get what we want. If you are not able to bet on yourself, how can you expect to have other people doing so?
So how can this happen:
-list/draw/express what you really want
-the best way to get there – not for you – for the best version of you, for your role model, for a person you are deeply admiring and you know is strong – don’t overthink it, just say it outloud and then you write it – no being emotional
-commit to do exactly that! make sure a big chunk of your time if devoted to that
-Meditation, draw your vision around it! You are already getting it! => Read Have a vision ebook now to change your thinking system into your most powerful one!
–plan the goals with the steps and the everyday actions with deadlines => Get The Totems of Productivity ebook now to make it happen!
I am telling you this as I am repeating this to myself everyday those days. I am taking new risks, I am changing along with you. I hope sharing this will trigger this change in many of those magnificent reasonable yet free souls of yours!
Yes, you can and you probably have responsibilities to complete and deal along the week. And most of us cannot cancel them or just get rid of them. I am not saying it is easy. However, redefining your focus, granting as much time as you can to your dreams and choosing your plan A will help you get there while ending those responsibilities. Or in a most realistic manner, will help you free yourself from anything you don’t like in your life and then devote yourself to take the most beautiful risks of your life and chase your dreams!
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